I am in Bali. It’s almost surreal that I ended up here. In a hostel that looks as taken out of a backpacker dream. An oasis in the middle of a tourist haven. On the outside it looks as any random garage door. You step in and it’s this beautiful house with lovely rooms scarcely furnished, with a long terrace where the most comfortable longchairs in the world reside and with an amazing garden, filled with greenery and a beautiful pool. It’s truly a jewel! The owner is actually interested in selling but with a bit of marketing skill, he could make a fortune on tourists. I would definitely pay more than the 8euros per night I am currently paying to stay here. Oh…and the bathroom has old marble in it! It’s just lovely! So lovely that my 2 night stay here has extended to 4 nights.

I am still a bit confused as to what I want from this trip. Or better said, I think it’s time for a bit of a decision…do I want this trip to be about tourism or about relaxing and processing? The last period has been a bit hectic on all sorts of levels – so hectic that I didn’t even have the impulse to write anymore. And so hectic that I literally refused to think about difficult things because it felt that I lack the capacity to have any valid opinion or thought on it. Now however, for probably the first time in my life, I feel a big urge to write. To split the last year into chapters, to go through each and clean it up! In my control freak head this should be a highly organised activity. When I know that in reality all the chapters will intertwine and become all messy and muddy together. I don’t even know what I expect to get out of it. Some clarity? Some suddn revelations? Who knows?

Add to all that the excitement to me undertaking a whole new travelling experience. Namely travelling solo. In a weird way it felt like a natural next step. Travelling alone seemed almost impossible 1 year ago. When I found out I had to leave Malaysia sooner I didn’t even think about it…I just had to decide on destinations. So here I am now, at the beginning of my 6 weeks of alone travelling. In which I hope to conquer 2 countries: Indonesia and Nepal.

Sad to say that my start was not really the best possible one. Yesterday at immigration in Bali I got stopped because it was weird that I was the only Romanian on the plane. I got questioned about my entire life history. And it all ended with me being strip searched – lucky for me, all my orrifices were drug clear!

This did make me think though. I had not really taken many precautions about my trip. As in, people sort of new where I was, but no specific details. To be honest, if someone would happen to me, who would notice? Luckily, friends are somehow always there. But I realised I should not take it as lightly as I first did.

Anyways…getting back to my initial dilemma. Tourism or time for myself? I am torn between doing things and just relaxing, enjoying places, spending time at the beach. I came prepared to hike but I am not sure I still want to do that. Especially as Nepal will probably provide more opportunity for that. At the same time, something in me just makes me want to do and see everything!!